In the last lesson,
we looked at how negative experiences in your past can affect your
self-concept. Self-esteem isn’t quite the same as your self-concept, but
is your perception of yourself. Your self-esteem is a measure of how happy you
are with yourself. By increasing one, you can increase the other. Today, we’ll look
at building your self-esteem.
It’s much easier to
present ourselves authentically to others when we feel good about ourselves.
your self-esteem a boost and think more highly of yourself:
- Guarantee success by starting small. Success breeds
confidence and self-esteem. Create small
successes in your life. Drink water instead of soda at lunch. Pay all of your
bills on time this month. Any little thing that would make you feel
good about yourself is a great place to start.
- Do something
that frightens you. Afraid of dogs?
Make a visit to the dog kennel. Afraid of public speaking? Tell a story to
several friends simultaneously. Prove to yourself that you can stretch beyond
your current comfort zone.
- Show off
your strengths. Are you a great
athlete? Sign up for a softball team. Get out and show your stuff. It feels
good to do something that you do well. Remind yourself of how skilled and
competent you can be. This will boost your confidence and sense of self-esteem.
It’s enjoyable to show off a little, too.
- Do something
for others. When you help someone
else, you feel good about yourself. Down deep, the average person worries about
being selfish or inconsiderate. Do something for someone else and you’ll
convince yourself that you’re a good person.
- Eat a
healthier diet. When you eat poorly,
you don’t feel good. You don’t know how bad you feel. You’re just
used to it. Your mood and outlook on life will improve when you improve
comparisons. There’s always someone
else smarter, better looking, wealthier, or more charismatic. There are a lot
of people in the world. Notice the progress you’re making in your life and be
happy with that.
- We always choose
exceptional people to compare ourselves to. So yes, Brad Pitt is better looking
and Warren Buffett is wealthier than you. This will always be true for 99.9999%
of the population.
- Fill your
mind with uplifting information.
There are plenty of workshops, music, and books with a positive message. With
positive information entering your brain on a regular basis, you’ll be happier
with life and yourself. By the same token, avoid negative information
- Observe your
thoughts. If you pay attention to
your thoughts, you’ll be both amazed and horrified. It’s amazing how your mind
jumps around to different topics and the crazy things it says. If a real person
acted in the same way, you’d call the people in the white coats to come make a
- Notice how odd
your self-talk can be.
- Create a
list of affirmations. Make a list of
affirmations that you’d like to believe and keep it handy. Whenever you mind is
idle, repeat your affirmations to yourself. When you’re not busy, your mind
will start chattering. Take control of the chatter and keep it positive.
your greatness. You’ve accomplished
some impressive things. Make a list of everything you’ve managed to do in your
life up to this point. It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come. Make a list and
review it often.
something new. Children are so proud
of themselves when they learn new something new. It might not be as obvious to
us as adults, but we experience the same phenomenon. Learn how to bake a cake
from scratch or how to hit a golf ball. What interests you? Try to learn a new
skill each month.
- Exercise. You know you’re supposed to do it. When you don’t do
things you know that should be done, you become annoyed with yourself and doubt
your self-discipline. Exercise feels good, too. Take care of yourself.
yourself to someone new. This
activity carries no risk and has a lot of upside. You feel like you have
control over your life, begin to eliminate any shyness, and possibly make a new
friend. Everyone fears strangers to some extent. Minimize yours and you’ll feel
more confident and pleased with yourself.
benefit from a little more self-esteem. When you think more highly of yourself,
you’re in better position to change your self-concept and your life.
Think of more ways you can boost your self-esteem and apply these concepts
In the next
lesson, you’ll see how you can have a more positive self-concept – and raise
your self-esteem – by being consciously proactive in several areas of your
“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify
to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new
shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing
things which add quality and beauty to life.”
Here’s what you need to do today:
small, positive change to your daily routine starting today. Keep it small and
You’ll boost your self-esteem and guarantee your improvement by continuing to perform this small change each day until it becomes a habit.