In the past few lessons, we learned about
self-acceptance, letting go of your mistakes, and forgiving yourself for those
mistakes. But what about
your faults?
It’s easy to
beat yourself up over your shortcomings and failures. Your inner critic is attempting
to protect you, but like an overprotective parent, it’s causing more harm than
good. Criticizing yourself only serves to make life more challenging.
It also robs you of options and puts limits on your life.
Your inner
critic provides information, but that doesn’t mean you have to listen. Your
inner critic is relentless. It’s active from the moment you wake up until you
fall asleep. It’s even active in your dreams! Your inner critic won’t be
contained easily.
Change what your inner critic says to you and
reach your full potential:
- Drown it
out. Fill your mind with positive
talk and imagery. Avoid giving your inner critic any room to make its opinions
known to you. Keep your self-talk positive and expect the best to happen.
- Recognize
the truth. Your inner critic is just a
manifestation of your fear. Its sole purpose is to stop you from
harming yourself. However, it’s like a scared child. You tell yourself that
you’re an idiot or that you can’t do something in order to have an excuse not
to expose yourself to failure.
- Your inner critic
is a lunatic. Consider treating it as such.
- Empty your
mind. If you need to make a phone
call or finish your taxes, keep your mind empty and get started. It’s your
thoughts that stop you from getting things done. Keep your mind clear and get
busy. Action is the best way to keep your critic at bay.
- It’s all a
matter of moving your hands or moving your mouth. Consider every action at your disposal. They’re all a
matter of either doing something or saying something. That’s all there is to
life. You’re either physically doing something or talking.
- There’s no
practical difference between calling your best friend and making a cold call.
You’re dialing the phone with your hands and speaking with your mouth.
- How can an inner
critic exist when every action you take is either moving your hands or your
mouth? It’s all the same.
- What would
you tell a friend? Would you judge a
friend as harshly as you judge yourself? What would you say to them in a
similar situation? What would you say to your child? There’s no reason not to
treat yourself just as kindly. Be a friend to yourself.
- Say
something encouraging to yourself every 10 minutes. Set a timer on your phone or computer. Get in the
habit of encouraging yourself each day. After 18 hours, you will have said 108
positive things to yourself. It won’t take long to create a new habit at that
pace. Criticizing yourself is a habit. Encouraging yourself is also a habit.
- Make a list
of your high points. Think about your
greatest successes. It’s easy to fixate on a few bad choices, but choose to
focus on your highest achievements. Make a long list and review it regularly.
You’ll enhance your mood and put your critic to bed.
The inner critic in
your head limits your life and your opportunities. Remember that your inner critic is
no different from a child afraid of the dark. It isn’t rational. You don’t have
to listen.
Take control
of your inner talk and lift yourself up. Speak to yourself the way you would a
good friend or loved one. Turn your inner critic into your most positive
supporter and you’ll live a life you enjoy.
In the next
lesson, we’ll look at how to break free from crippling self-doubts.
Here’s what you need to do today:
For the rest of the day, say something encouraging to yourself every 10 minutes. Every time you start to have a criticizing thought, drown it out with something positive.